OVERCOMING YOUR FEAR

Even the most courageous people have fears to overcome. Are you afraid of something tangible, like spiders or heights? Maybe you fear failure, change or something else that's more difficult to pin down. No matter what it is that scares you, learn how to acknowledge, confront and take ownership of your fear to keep it from holding you back in life.Method 1 of 4: Analyze Your Fear1

1. Start by acknowledging it. It's easy to ignore or deny our fears, even to ourselves, in a society that stresses the importance of being strong and brave. But courage can't come into play unless you have a fear to face down. By owning your feelings you've taken the first step toward gaining control over the situation.
   

   • Name your fear. Sometimes fear makes itself known immediately, clearly, and other times its more difficult to name the cause of those anxious feelings lurking in the back of your mind. Let your fear rise to the surface and give it a name.
   • Write it down. Writing down your fear is a way to officially admit that you have a problem you want to overcome. Keeping a journal is a good way to track your progress as you work toward conquering your fear. It can serve as a guide for the next time you've got a problem that needs to be solved. You can overcome fear by facing it every time it comes your way, and, once you decide to make up your mind, your fears will dissolve away.
     
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   Define its contours. Approaching your fear as something with a beginning and an end can help you see that you have the power to contain it. If you can clearly see the shape of your fear, you'll be able to recognize when its affecting you and handle it more effectively. Answer the following questions to better understand your fear.
   

   • What is the history of your fear? Did it begin with a negative experience? Is it related to factors that affected your childhood environment? For how long have you been affected by this fear?
   • What triggers your fear? Is it something obvious, like the sight of a snake on a trail? Maybe passing your career counselor's office door sends your mind into a downward spiral when you walk down the corridor in your high school. Figure out everything that triggers your fear so you can determine how far it stretches.
   • How does your fear affect you? Does it cause you to stay in bed instead of getting up and going to a class you're afraid of failing? Do you avoid visiting your family in another state because you don't want to get on a plane? Figure out exactly what power your fear has over your mind and behavior.
     
   • Is the source of your fear actually dangerous? Fear can be a healthy emotion that protects us from harm by causing us to avoid things that are dangerous. Determine whether you have a good reason to be afraid or if your fear is misplaced and inhibiting. For example, when you are afraid to ride that totally extreme roller coaster in the theme park even though all your friends are doing it, your fear may be inhibiting you. If you are healthy and in the correct age range, you can freely ride a coaster without worrying about getting hurt.
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   Imagine the outcome you desire. Now that you completely understand your fear, think about what exactly you want to change. You already have your big goal set - you want to overcome your fear - but it's important to set smaller concrete goals to help you get there. For example:
   

   • If your fear is commitment, your first concrete goal may be to date someone for longer than a month.
   • If your fear is heights, you may want to be able to go on a hiking trip with the outdoor club at your school.
   • If your fear is going away to college, you could start by setting a goal to apply to three schools.
   • If your fear is spiders, you might want to be able to handle seeing a spider in your bathroom next time that situation arises.